Eddie's PARTAY!
by swimmy123
Summary: What happens when Emmett throws Edward a party? Edward has a very, very bad time. Not directly related to Party Time! NNNOOO! but similar. Oneshot


Chapter 3

**Disclaimer Sob, I don't own ****Twilight****, so please stop reminding me, sob, sob.**

EPOV

Emmet dragged me away from Bella, to my impending doom. I hated having to walk away. Well, not quite walk, but be dragged, still, it felt just as bad. I didn't want to leave her, especially with my (insane) sisters!

_Edward, _Jasper thought, _quit wallowing in grief. I'm starting to feel terrible, and tonight is supposed to be fun! You're the man of the hour!_

I rolled my eyes. Like I cared, if they were keeping me from Bella. "Eddie! Guess who's making the plans for tonight! ME!" Emmet yelled. I started to hear him chant in excitement in his head. _I make the plans! I make the plans! _he thought in a sing-song voice. Oh God, kill me now. Actually, don't. Kill him now!

Then I heard another voice that wasn't quite as familiar as my families'. _Ha! I'm so glad I went along with this party! Look at him! He already looks upset. YES! _Oh, it was Charlie. Uh-oh. Charlie! Nothing good would come of this.

"Emmet, please put me down." I said.

"Do you promise not to run back to your precious gal pal," he snorted. I rolled my eyes again. He dropped me and I caught myself with my feet lightly landing on the ground. I tensely walked to the car, which I noticed was the Mercedes, meaning I was not driving. I groaned.

As I got in, I turned to Carlisle. "If this is my party, then shouldn't I get to do what I want?" I asked as innocently as I could manage, though I knew it wouldn't fool him.

"Edward, you are not going back in to spend the night with Bella, and you are not driving. Oh yes, you are also not in charge of the plans. We gave that job to Emmet.

"I heard," I said sarcastically. They stated the car and I heard Charlie's thoughts again.

_Wow. Dr. Cullen sure drives fast. Oh my, really, REALLY FAST! Oh my GOD! SLOW DOWN!! _he bellowed in his mind.

I chuckled. So that's where Bella got her fear of my driving. Carlisle was actually going reasonably slow. Only 90 miles per hour. In fact, I was itching to take the wheel and go faster. "Um, Carlisle, would you mind slowing down a bit. I mean, I am technically a cop and all, so I'd really rather you follow the speed limit." The calm in Charlie's voice was absent in his thoughts and I wondered if he'd try to give Carlisle a ticket or something. Luckily, that thought was unnecessary, since Carlisle slowed down, though I could tell it was almost killing him to drive this slowly.

"So, would anyone like to tell me where exactly we plan on going?" I asked.

"Nope," Emmet said as he continued to hum "Mary had a Little Lamb" then, he thought of Rosalie in a way that I would really rather not see her. I cringed from the image and quickly blocked him out. I turned to Charlie, knowing that his thoughts would betray them.

_I wish they would explain that to me too! They wouldn't tell me! Ugh. I guess it'll be a good surprise, but I'd really rather know. _Of course they hadn't told him, knowing that he would tell me, though he wouldn't even know he was. This was infuriating. I had half a mind to start screaming at them, but then I remembered Charlie, who was just starting to warm up to me. Well, not really so much warm up as not constantly want to shoot me, but I would take it in baby steps.

I still groaned, too soft for Charlie's ears, but loud enough to let my family know my annoyance. They knew that this was not what I wanted to be doing, and they didn't care. The anger started to boil up inside me. I was going to pay them back, somehow.

_Edward, cool it! I'm starting to think of ways to avenge everyone who has ever done me a wrong. If you don't calm down, I'm going to be heading for the South to look for a couple of old vampire _friends. _That might be hard to explain to Charlie! _

I chuckled quietly at what he'd said, or rather, thought. I imagined myself explaining, "Well, um, see, Jasper just shot out of the car faster than you could see yelling, 'I'll get those damn _Yankee _vampires who bit me!' because he is mentally insane and a world-record holder in the 50-yard dash! Nothing to worry about. My family is perfectly normal and you should definitely want Bella to be part of it." Hmmmm, that would be interesting.

Then I realize how I had forgotten my anger completely and glared at Jasper. I hated it when he did this to my emotions. It was so confusing! Abruptly he stopped, and the full amount of my anger hit. I nearly pounced at Emmet, but kept the image of Bella behind my eyes. I really didn't want to be inhumanly fast as I tackled my brother, who happened to be driving a car with my fiancé's father sitting next to me. There was another conversation I really would rather not have with Charlie.

We pulled into a parking lot and looked around. NO! He wouldn't! I was going to kill him. I stood in front of one of Olympia's finest- strip clubs! I was already planning my attack when Jasper reentered my head.

_Edward, don't do it. Charlie is right next to you! What would he think?_

I noticed Charlie had gone silent next to me. It made me a little nervous, so I peeked into his mind

_Well this certainly is a surprise. As long as my future - _son- _there, I thought it- doesn't seem too interested in this; it should be fun to watch him squirm. Then again, maybe he won't. Maybe he's seen more of my Bella than I would like to know. I guess I told her, I wouldn't be too mad as long as they used protection._

"Well, Ed, I guess you'll be seeing more of these ladies than you've ever seen of Bella! I know you're repressed and all, but don't go too wild when you see them!" Emmet boomed. Wow, he never skipped a beat when it came to making me uncomfortable. But seriously, in front of her father?! I guessed it eased some of his thoughts, but still, please help me!

I was going to kill him! I heard Jasper groan with suppressing all of the emotions I was flinging at him. I had to calm down. I did it the only way I knew. I closed my eyes and saw Bella in all her self-conscious beauty and the most magnificent blush on her face. "Bella Cullen" I whispered. I was calm once more.

"In we go!" Emmet yelled, and then he and Jasper grabbed both of my sides and started toward the door, dragging me. I might have gotten away, if Charlie and several other humans had not been watching us. However, my speed was my advantage, and this was a situation where I could not use it to help me.

They dragged me into the disgusting place. I could see the smoky, dark air enclose around me and began to hold my breath. The air even _smelled _of desire. For a moment I truly felt bad for Jasper, then remembered that he was part of the reason I was in here. I then promptly tried to think of anything to block out the thoughts encircling my head.

A bald guy sat in the corner thought _I just need one to come over here. Where is that girl I hired for tonight? I'm going to end up doing her service myself if she doesn't show up soon. _I was near gagging, and I didn't even want to think about those greasy men staring intently up to the ladies on the stage. BLECH!! I already felt like I needed a shower, or better yet, to kiss Bella! Emmet would pay for this torture!

Now I truly squeezed my eyes shut like a child, my whispering growing progressively louder by the second. "Bella Cullen, Bella Cullen_, _**Bella Cullen**…" I continued for several minutes and noticed that I was now sitting. I also then noticed Charlie's thoughts.

_What the hell is that boy doing? She happens to still be Bella Swan, in case he was wondering, no thanks to him. Humph! _

I opened my eyes unhappily and started breathing again. The fumes were gross in here, the lighting worse! _Emmet most definitely has some excellent taste! _I thought sarcastically to myself.

I also wanted to explain to Charlie about my reason for say Bella's future name, without mentioning how I picked the question out of his mind.

"Emmet," I said in a cool voice that I knew was scarier than any fierce growl, "if I weren't incorrigibly happy right now because of my upcoming marriage, you would already be dead, so I suggest not pushing me."

Then, the lights dimmed further and some cheesy music that sounded absolutely awful, making me wish further for my room and CD collection (with Bella in it).

As soon as the first girl walked out, I realized that they were most definitely more naked than I had ever seen Bella. Ew. These women could never compare to my Bella; in fact, no one was comparable. I was thoroughly disgusted so I decided to simply turn my chair, shut my eyes and stop breathing until all of this was over.

_Wow, he's so repressed; he can't even watch a stripper show without being a total prude. In fact, I think I'll tell him. _Emmett's thoughts were disturbing, and there was no way he was telling that to my future father in law.

"Emmett, I think I know what you're about to say and there's no need to say it." I said with my last breath.

_Well at least he's not a pervert or anything. He may have made my daughter suffer unbelievably, and then came back and she forgave him, but at least he isn't interested in any other woman. That is good, as long as he's not gay. If he were, I think I might kill him for breaking my baby's heart, __again__. _OK, so Charlie thought I might be gay, but at least he doesn't think I'm a perv!

A good deal of time passed as I tried to block out the thoughts of all of the men in the facility's thoughts. For a while, even Charlie's thoughts were pretty bad, and Emmett and Jasper kept on imagining there wives (who also happened to be my sisters) doing some interesting things that I felt no need to hear. They left and I sighed. Random women I can handle; my sisters, now that was a little gross.

Then, I heard someone. Someone close. She came over to me and I heard her thoughts.

_Well, this one is a looker. I wouldn't mind going there with him. _She had a mental image of herself giving me a lap dance. Dream on lady, I'm getting married. Jeez, the nerve of some people. I mean, I know it's her own personal thoughts but- oh, she just sat on me! They weren't thoughts, they were future actions!

"Excuse me, but would you please stop." I said to the woman on top of me. How did I not see this coming?

"No, sir. I've got some direct orders from your really muscular friends to give you this. She is one lucky bride, by the way." The woman responded in a voice she thought to be sexy.

"Well your services are no longer needed." I stood up and she fell off of me. "I'm sorry, but I will be a very happy groom, and my fiancée and I haven't even gone very physical with our relationship yet, so I don't appreciate the little dance."

_Good, definitely not a pervert still could be gay though. Hopefully not. _I tried to block Charlie's thoughts again.

Then, I stood and told Charlie we were leaving. He and I got Carlisle and told him what had happened, and he followed us to the car.

"Um, guys, shouldn't we go get Jasper and Emmett?" Charlie asked.

"No, they ordered that _woman_," I made the word into a curse, "to do that to me, so they are going to have to find another way home. Rose will be really mad when Emmett calls her asking her to pick him up." I knew they'd just run home, but Charlie needed a plausible explanation and I didn't want to hear them tease me right now. I also was a little nervous about how Jasper's night had gone, so I didn't want him to eat Charlie because he used all of his self control in the club.

_Ahh, what an _excellent_ party! _I thought sarcastically. Well, at least there is no way Bella's was any worse.


End file.
